Dear people of the future. They said we can put a time capsule on our census form to tell you what it’s like in 2022. So if you’re researching anything about your ancestors, you might check this out. I don’t know how you imagined your ancestors – probably interesting people. But we are not. Either way, you literally wouldn’t believe what’s going on here. By the way, we say a lot literally, and we don’t always mean literally. We are literally obsessed with claiming to be literally obsessed.
Anyway, you’d probably believe what’s going on here because you’ve probably read about it in the history books. Sometimes the only thing that keeps us going is thinking that we will go down in history as some kind of Greatest Generation that has lived through interesting times and endured so much.
The truth is we’re not that great. Literally nobody could be less suited to all of the things that are happening right now than we are. We complained and fought all the way through. We complained when the government Dr. Didn’t take Tony’s advice, and now we’re freaking out because they’re following him. But you probably know all that. You guys are probably still arguing about whether or not you should wear masks lol.
Anyway. So we had a pandemic, right? But not anymore. Lots of people still have Covid, some of them for the third time, but believe me it’s over. We had loads of other bad things to deal with, so we just had to end the pandemic, focus on war and an oil crisis and food shortages.
We’re lucky the pandemic is over because it means we can use the money we set aside for the pandemic for everything else. So the pandemic money is being used to sort out the cost of living and it’s being used to house any Ukrainians that are coming and it’s being used for whatever else comes up. Luckily we have the money to spend on everything else. We’re fine as long as the pandemic doesn’t come back. But it is not. It’s over now, okay?
So are you still working from home? We are all working from home now. It’s totally cool. Nobody keeps an eye on you. You just have to make sure you are logged into your computer. We have all realized that most of our days at so-called work did not involve actual work but gossip and general wasting and wasting of other people’s time. So if you’re smart and motivated, you can complete your day’s work in about three hours.
This gives you time to queue at the airport for your flight. It is currently recommended that you get to the airport three days before departure so you can queue so people can check you don’t have any liquids in your bag because, yes, that’s the biggest hazard we face now everything is clear.
PS: If you have the technology to send someone back to change the future, someone could try to make Vladimir Putin a successful judo teacher and maybe shut down the Wuhan fish market before the end of 2019.
https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/my-2022-census-time-capsule-41515341.html My time capsule for the 2022 census