A reader turns to Coleen Nolan, the Mirror agony’s aunt, for advice after her sister began dating a man just months after her husband’s death
Photo: Getty Images/Westend61)
My sister lost her husband in February this year after a long illness.
She’s in her 60’s and has always been a vibrant personality and full of life so it was terrifying to see her going through this with her husband.
It didn’t take her long to accept life again, however, as she meets a man of a similar age who lives nearby.
They met at Easter and saw each other often.
I told her I thought it was too soon after her husband’s death and she didn’t respond well, saying she was disappointed that I begrudge her some happiness.
I don’t, but I’m just worried that she didn’t give herself enough time to grieve and that it might go wrong.
Am I wrong to think that? I know that some of my family members and their friends are also concerned.
The guy she’s dating seems like a nice guy (he’s been divorced for a few years), but none of us really know him.
I would like your opinion.
What advice would you give this reader? Share your opinion in the comment section
I think you have to let people deal with the loss as they can, and if that brings her happiness and helps her feel like life can go on, I’m all for it.
Maybe she’ll realize later that it was too early and you can be there for her.
But having lost family members myself, I find it important not to judge in these situations.
My sister Bernie’s husband met someone pretty soon after her death and a few people have questioned that, but he’s still with this woman and they’re really happy.
On the other hand, it took my sister Linda 10 years to even consider the possibility of another partner after the death of her husband, so it’s different for everyone.
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Your sister has probably been mourning her husband for a long time because she took care of him when he was ill.
Along with the grief, there will be some relief that he is no longer in pain and that she can live again.
Maybe try harder to get to know this man better.
Yes, he might just be a bridge to help her get over her grief, but there’s nothing wrong with that if they both enjoy each other’s company.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/relationships/my-widowed-sister-dating-moving-27095521 "My widowed sister is dating but is she moving too fast after her husband's death?" - Coleen Nolan