DEAR FRIEND: My wife is 33 years old and wants to have kids but I’m 52 and don’t want to be an old dad. Is there any way to fix this?
We’ve been married for three years and while she’s at a great age to have kids, I’m better off as a grandpa than a dad.
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When we met, she said that she never had any children of her own.
I have two sons from a previous marriage, aged nine and ten, who she loves dearly. She also said that they gave her everything she needed.
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But recently she has started talking about trying to have children.
I was adamant that I didn’t want to be an old dad. Taking care of a newborn in my 40s is exhausting, let alone now.
DEIDRE SAYS: This is a more common problem than you think. Many women feel a strong urge to have a biological child.
While your wife loves your baby like her own, she probably feels like she missed out on pregnancy and through her early years.
If your wife stays with you and never has children, she will likely resent you and this could eventually end your relationship.
On the other hand, you may become resentful of her if you have children against your will.
It can be helpful to get counseling, to help you see the other person’s point of view and think through the issue. My support package How Counseling works shows where to look for help.
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https://www.thesun.ie/dear-deidre/8151951/too-old-to-be-dad/ My wife, 33 years old, longs to have children but I am 52 years old and do not want to be an old dad