Please spare us ship worship and hairy chests – POLITICO

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.

As we all know, Article 11 of the European Convention on Human Rights states that “it is both reasonable and acceptable to smack that guitar over the annoying head of someone who is playing a guitar on a beach or in a public park”.

Unfortunately, it appears that passengers on an easyJet flight from Poland were clearly not au fait with their human rights and failed to take approved action when a Singapore man and his suspiciously happy friends at 30,000 feet started singing a Christian worship song. Perhaps they were hoping for divine intervention to protect them from COVID when only one person in the video clip of the incident is wearing a mask.

Also, this was a flight with easyJet, a company that would (and may already be) charging you extra for breathing! What is the additional charge for praising God? And are you allowed to put a guitar in the overhead compartments?

Most people on social media seemed distinctly unfazed by the mid-flight religious chant, with Ilhan Omar, a member of the US Congress who is Muslim, tweet: “I think my family and I should have a prayer session the next time I’m on a plane. How do you think it will end?”

The onboard singer was identified as Jonathan Neo, who was on his way back from where he was in Poland apparently been Performances for people fleeing the war in Ukraine who were holed up at Polish train stations. Haven’t these people suffered enough?

Speaking of the unnecessary imposed: Emmanuel Macron’s hairy chest. From the man who was photographed in a hoodie For the authentic “I’m just like Volodymyr Zelenskyy, vote for me” look, we now have the “I’m just like the Bee Gees of the late 70’s, vote for me” look!

The main task of Macron and his rival for the French presidency, Marine Le Pen, is to win over those who voted for someone else in the first round, particularly supporters of the left Jean-Luc Mélenchon, who finished third. Are leftists particularly contagious from hairy breasts? Both Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels had impressive beards, so there’s a reasonable chance they also had hairy breasts. Does anyone in the Left Group in the European Parliament have an answer to this urgent question?



“How nice to see that the two main candidates in the 2020 US presidential election are finally getting along.”

can you do better E-mail [email protected] or on Twitter @pdallisonesque

Last week we gave you this photo:


Thanks for all entries. Here’s the best of our mailbag – there’s no prize but the gift of laughter, which I think is far more valuable than cash or alcohol.

“Your parents when they can’t agree on what to order”, by Shivang Gupta

Paul Dalison is POLITICS‘s slot news editor. Please spare us ship worship and hairy chests – POLITICO

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