DEAR DEIDRE: My stepdaughter is very difficult to deal with.
She is 12 years old and has a lot of behavior problems.
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Her biological mother was banned from contacting her because she treated her so badly when she was young.
I am 40 years old and met my husband 43 years old 4 years ago and we have a two year old son together.
I tried a lot to help. I took her to a lot of appointments and gave her counseling.
But when my husband is not around, she is rude and destructive. She acted like I was getting her shoes dirty.
Recently her mom started texting my husband asking to spend time with her.
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I didn’t think it was a good idea because she was being so sassy but he told me it was none of my business.
How can I help when my feelings are not considered at all?
DEIDRE SAYS: Your stepdaughter has been through so much it will be hard to trust anyone.
Her biological mother should not be allowed back into her life and the needs of your stepdaughter should come first.
Gently remind your husband that if your harmonious family is to work out, then you need to be able to make decisions together.
You will find support at familylives.org.uk (helpline 0808 800 2222).
I am also submitting my support package for Stepfamily issues, which has useful information.
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