When you need them the most, supermarket staff always seem to be there.
It could be you need assistance finding something or maybe have a question – whatever it is, they are always ready to help.
One thing that is often commented on is how patient store assistants are.
However, many people will wonder what are they really thinking while they are helping us?
While they are more than happy to help, what is it that they really want to be telling customers? What is it that is going through their minds as they walk past you in the shop?
Well the secret is out, as workers from Sainsbury’s, Tesco and Morrisons have revealed what they’re really thinking (and hoping) when you pass through the aisles, KentLive reports.
These anonymous confessions from inside the stores were brought to light before the pandemic hit, but their brutal comments make for hilarious reading nonetheless.
First up, here’s a look at a former Sainsbury’s employee who vented their thoughts. And they really didn’t hold back.
Here is a list of 15 things the former colleague would have loved to say to you at Sainsbury’s.
‘We can spot a ‘savvy’ shopper a mile off’
Mainly because they swarm around whatever poor sod has a reduced price gun in their hand, clamouring to get their paws on a tray of stale doughnuts, 78 nearly out of date yoghurts, and 10 packs of dodgy looking metallic bacon.
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about’
True story. A lady at my checkout once invited me to go and see her husband’s new play, while describing the plot in front of 10 other people who were just trying to buy their basics fish pie and go home.
Honestly, madam, I’m about as likely to see this play as you are to getting a free Nectar points voucher.
‘We have to ask you if you want help with packing’
It’s not that we think you are incompetent (we save those thoughts for most self-service checkout users) – it’s store policy that we have to ask.
Do us a favour and politely decline, though, yeah?
‘We know you know what 10 items or less means’
No it’s not okay for you to bring your entire monthly shop through my basket-only till.
The sign is there for a reason, people. You aren’t special.
‘Never ask me if my shift is over soon’
If my shift was over soon, I’d be smiling. No, it’s not.
In fact, you just saw me arrive at the till and tell the person on there that it’s shift swap time.
Why would I say that if it wasn’t that I had just started? I’m going to be here for another eight hours, you cretin.
‘You couldn’t be more single if you tried’
So you want to buy one ready meal, four cans of John Smith’s, a copy of Die Hard and some tissues.
I wonder what your social life is like.
‘I see you have your evening planned’
Generally around Valentine’s Day, you’ll get hundreds of men coming in with exactly the same shopping list.
The cheapest flowers possible (preferably red ones), a card, some chocolate, a cheap bottle of Prosecco and some condoms. Delightful.
She is in for a real treat, you old romantic.
‘Never say: ‘Oh actually, I’ve got the 3p’
You’re not being helpful because it complicates everything.
Once we’ve put in the till what you’ve given us, you can’t give us extra because that would mean calculating in our heads what change to give you back.
Have you ever tried doing maths after a mind-numbing day of scanning produce, lady? HAVE YOU? It just can’t be done.
‘My manager doesn’t care either’
Oh no, the green pepper you picked up has a slight bruise on it.
Well, in that case, put it back and pick up another one.
Don’t come over to me with your pepper and inform me that it’s bruised, because I have never cared about anything less in my life.
In fact, feel free to tell my manager because I guarantee they will look at you like the moron that you are.
‘I hate you’
Pretty self-explanatory, this one. Just don’t be a terrible customer and we will continue to pretend to put up with you.
‘No, it’s not free if it doesn’t scan’
But good joke, though, and it’s the first time anyone has ever made that remark – so well done to everyone involved.
What it actually means is that we’re going to have to sit here in awkward silence while I call over a supervisor to go and get another packet of Quorn bacon.
Do you know what is free, though? My instant hatred.
‘No, we don’t have a vegan alternative’
It’s a ribeye steak, madam. This is the meat and fish aisle, where we generally stock meat and fish, if you can believe that.
You have just walked through the vegetable section to ask me this question.
If you want a ribeye steak, maybe you have chosen the wrong kind of lifestyle.
‘Shall I tell off your child for you?’
Oh no, poor little Olivia wasn’t allowed to have the Peppa Pig chocolate lolly. Thankfully, Olivia has a plan.
She’s going to scream and cry for an hour until you give in and almost ram that lolly up her nose.
If you don’t do it, I will. Shut up, Olivia.
‘I’m only going to pretend to look in the back’
Honestly, the only reason any retail worker agrees to go and ‘look in the back’ is so they can go to the store room and text their friends about the annoying customer that just asked them to go and look in the back.
Have you ever seen a supermarket store room? I’m more likely to find Oz than I am to find your soy alternative to a Gillette razor.
‘If you mess up my display, I’ll hurt you’
Ah finally, I’ve restocked the organic drinking coconuts (seriously, these exist now) and the display looks amazing.
But, oh wait, here comes organic Penelope and her three children, Marmaduke, Tofu and Lentil, and, of course, they all want a drinking coconut.
But they don’t just want a coconut, they want to look at every single coconut while moving the entire display around until it looks like Picasso painted it with his eyes closed.
One anonymous former Kent Tesco employee has revealed her biggest bugbears about working there and some of the hidden truths people may not know.
‘My lunch isn’t a free Tesco meal deal, let me assure you’
Going on lunch and finding yourself short of a few quid, so you opt for that Tesco Everyday Value thick sliced bread that your managers generously left in the staff room.
‘That sigh you give when a customer pleads with you to knock some pennies off’
The last box of 10-pack fish fingers has been opened – it’s probably just a damaged box but hey, I’ll knock 10 per cent off to avoid the drama.
‘The 5p charge for a carrier bag is definitely not my fault’
Rolling your eyes when a customer blames Tesco for the 5p plastic bag charge – I’m all for saving the planet, but don’t take it out on the messenger.
‘Clocking onto loyal customers’ routines’
That’s right, Barbara. I see you doing the weekly shop at 7pm every Wednesday. I saw you last week, and the week before that, and the week before that…
‘I hate the self-service tills more than you’
And impatiently waving your product in front of the scanner isn’t going to make my life any easier. I hold the power to unlock these bad boys, and the red light flashing above you has already told me you need my help.
‘I know it’s three minutes until we open, but I can’t unlock the doors just because you’re standing there’
You’re early, that’s great. But unfortunately when we open at 7am, that means 7am. I’m sorry if it’s raining, or you’re cold. But looking at me with a face like thunder isn’t going to speed this process up.
‘Huffing and puffing in the queue won’t make me go any quicker on the checkouts’
I’m not deliberately going slow – it’s just busy in here.
‘The dread of asking for someone’s ID – and then finding out they’re 30 anyway’
Feel flattered I’m asking you to prove you’re old enough to buy that bottle of vodka, because I’m not doing it for fun.
‘The Tesco fleeces are so incredibly comfortable’
They aren’t the most flattering items of clothing to wear, but they are amazingly warm in those chilly winter months.
‘The frustration of people gathering around you as you knock 30p off a pack of mince’
Those yellow stickers are coming out, and it’s like shoppers can smell them a mile off.
‘The mindless game you play trying to squeeze another box of dolly mix on the shelf so you can finally get it off the cage’
We all know those huge cages can get in the way, but getting the products off them is the real task.
AFP via Getty Images)
We also spoke to a former Morrisons employee from Kent – and they were brutally honest, to say the least. They also unearthed some of the hidden truths people may not know about the popular supermarket. Here’s what they had to say.
‘Sometimes I don’t even know where things are’
We have to take you to the thing you’re looking for. I don’t want to accompany you to the right aisle to help find the exact item you’re looking for, but I have to.
Sometimes I don’t even know where things are – especially the obscure stuff.
‘Knowing we don’t have something, but looking in the back anyway’
When you ask us to check the storeroom for something, we don’t actually look. Or if we do, we also take a little break in the back. It’s deserved.
‘We hide in the warehouse when the store is dead’
Working the graveyard shift comes with certain perks. One of them being hiding in the warehouse with your other colleagues.
‘Sometimes, we eat the food’
A box of Celebrations has broken and exploded all over the shop floor? Oh no… guess that’s going somewhere discreet in the warehouse for snack time later…
‘Customers are messy – and it’s annoying’
No, please, don’t worry as I clear up this smashed bottle of red wine from the shop floor. Oh and you dropped a dog food tin in the next aisle? Cool, don’t worry about helping.
‘But the worst are the ones who graze as they shop’
The ones that pick at French sticks and eat half a bag of cookies before they get to the till are absolutely shameless. Then you have to touch the grubby packaging when you put it through the till. Great.
‘Everyone hates being on the tills’
You have to interact with people more and there is nowhere to hide.
‘Facing up and stock rotation is the worst job known to man’
It’s so much easier just to stuff all of the new stuff at the front. Who cares if it goes out of date before you buy it…
‘No, we cannot give you things for free’
Even if it doesn’t scan. We can’t give you our discount either, so stop asking.
‘We see you trying to get to the store at 3.59pm on a Sunday’
And yes, it did make me lock the door that little bit faster.
‘Need any help packing?’
Please say no, we really just want you to say no.
‘If you huff at me, I’ll go slower’
Huffing never got anyone anywhere and it certainly won’t make me scan your shopping faster.
‘And if you’re rude to me, I’ll make you explode in my head’
It’s just one therapeutic technique us cashiers like to employ when we really can’t say what we want to, to your face. Instead we’ll just smile overtly and make you disappear with our minds…
‘I don’t care how old you are’
We have to ID you if you look under 25 – because if we don’t and you actually are underage, we get fined. I don’t care when your birthday is or how many years you’ve been on the planet, this is purely self preservation and admin.
‘Stay away from the salad bar’
It’s not as fresh as you think. If you really want to know the details then read this.
‘Yes, I do have to pay for my lunch – stop asking’
It’s a toss up between a greasy sausage sandwich from the staff canteen upstairs or the very same meal deal you came in to buy yourself.
‘If you hover near me while I’m reducing food, I will go slower’
Hopefully that 11p off will be worth the extra five minutes of waiting, Sharon.
‘We see you people that come in everyday – and we judge you’
Don’t you have anything better to do? I know I do.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/sainsburys-tesco-morrisons-staff-reveal-27272819 Sainsbury's, Tesco and Morrisons staff reveal what they want to say to shoppers but can't