Sarah Caden: Prince Harry’s Christmas message – via Netflix documentary with Meghan Markle – is one of severing relationships

Not only are royals eager to have a rule book for peace and harmony in the family, but this Christmas, only a prince can squeeze six-hour episodes from that book.

Last Thursday, in case you were distracted by the weather, three of the first six episodes of Harry & Meghan landed on Netflix. What can they say, many wonder, considering how much background is covered in their infamous Oprah interview?

We braced ourselves for self-loathing, self-indulgence, and contempt for Harry’s family, and we got it all in a great dose of cashmere coats and splendor. But the biggest surprise is probably the undeniable likability of both of them, and Meghan in particular, which helps to understand why they would want to do this.

We don’t need to be reminded that Harry and Meghan are real people. But at this stage, which has become a soap opera, perhaps they have rightly appreciated that this is imperative.

Last week, we saw a lovely pair of people who have escaped from a completely strange world that doesn’t suit them and in many ways doesn’t appreciate them, and wish them luck. Surely didn’t King Charles say this as much in his inauguration speech after the Queen’s death? Go out and have a good life, Haz, as we all have to call him now.​

But leaving and having a good life is not enough for Harry and Meghan. Being liked and loved may not even be enough for Netflix’s results for this couple. They need to be right, and for the other side – in this case the UK press as well as his family – is wrong. And in matters of the family, as the late Queen’s “modifiable memory” remark pointed out, things are rarely so clear-cut.

Different recollections. Different experiences. Individuals who grew up in the same family and in the same environment have completely different views on it.

This is universal, and not just royal. Accepting that fact, which often comes with maturity and time, is the key to making family relationships strong.

Right now, though, Harry doesn’t seem interested in making family ties work. Harry & Meghan The strikes dealt a blow to imperial institutions, through their long history of empire and commonwealth as well as their portrayal of modern-day racism.

And there were personal hits. Specifically aimed at Charles and William, with Harry seemingly having sole proprietorship as his “mother’s son” and talking about wives other than Meghan being chosen by reason rather than heart. .

Harry, now it’s clear, will never want to go back to working royal life – and who can blame him.

The archival footage of his childhood is quite powerful. We’ve seen this clearly uncomfortable boy, smiling stiffly for holiday photo shoots, held in the vain hope that the paparazzi will disappear. We saw Diana plead for her children’s privacy and heard Harry recall her tears when the cameras wouldn’t leave them alone.

He clearly hates it. He clearly couldn’t adapt to it the way his brother, who their mother describes as a completely different character, could.

Harry was lucky enough to meet a woman who encouraged him to go out and be happy and wanted to be with him. He and Meghan are building a life where they feel appreciated as activists and it’s important that he doesn’t feel like he’s idle. As a couple, they are clearly very happy and it’s great to see that.

However, in telling what Harry describes on Netflix as a “wonderful love story,” there’s a glaring immaturity at the heart of it all. There are notions of grandeur that your love story is more special or interesting than anyone else’s, but it also shows immaturity, not much personality in the sense that this is a couple. Still in the honeymoon phase.

Harry and Meghan were together for six years, married four and had two children, but the tumultuous nature of those years, pitted against the world as a unit, allowed for some initial hardships to endure. certain.

It’s there in the way they speak, as a group, of a single point of view, almost a person, which suggests a fairy tale idea of ​​”one person” life-saving love, and even, as Harry mentioned, fate.​

Long-term relationships are not only more mundane than what Harry and Meghan have endured so far but are also made up of two individuals with their own baggage, their own problems, their own histories.

The Spice Girls’ “two becomes one” kind of thing isn’t what keeps things going in the long run. Accepting each other’s differences is key to that and accepting the fact that sometimes you can want different things and see things differently.

Meghan, evident from her near-cry laughter at the frenzy of having to bow to the Queen, has no qualms about burning her parents-in-law. She’s out and she’s not coming back but Harry may not always feel the same way.

Not so much about royal life, but perhaps about his family. That this was an ability was proven in his annoyance as she imitated it for comic effect, pursed lips and rolled her eyes in displeasure.

To some extent, they are still his people and always will be. Life is long and he may only need people with whom he shares his history if not common somewhere.

If Harry and Meghan made the Netflix docuseries in hopes of better understanding, it’s been a success so far.

However, at this time of year, the key message in every home is that understanding is a two-way street. The proof so far is that Harry and Meghan don’t believe in that Christmas message.