Selena Gomez just did a big thing for single women – with a little help from an unexpected friend

People jump to judge unmarried people – especially women in their late 20s and older – and we have a lot of negative stereotypes about people who are still single, especially after a certain age. We assume they’ll be actively looking for a partner but can’t find the right one and there must be something wrong with them causing them to live alone.

All of this stems from societal pressures to conform to social norms by a certain deadline: secure a mate, buy a house, and start forming the typical nuclear family by having several children and take care of a dog. Then happiness (and great support from society) will be achieved. Acclaim!

It’s an archetypal idea that your early 20s are about dating as much as possible and your late 20s are when you choose your partner and settle down for the long haul. To do anything else would simply be sad.

Selena Gomez, famous or not, is no stranger to that social pressure. After breaking up with Justin Bieber in 2018, Gomez became the center of a “sad single girl” story online. Fans of Gomez, Bieber or his new wife Hailey Bieber have been relentlessly suggesting through comments, videos and other social media content that Selena has always been upset over the breakup, with hints that Hailey stole her happiness.

Thankfully, young people are moving away from those traditions and the shame associated with not being able to have a relationship. In fact, recent research shows that a lot of single people are happier and more satisfied with their lives this way. And that’s especially true for women.

Selena seems to feel the same way with her proud # “foreverplusone” hashtag. While she is mocking her lack of relationships, she seems empowered and happy with her single status. She doesn’t need a partner to have fun, and neither does anyone else. While many people are happier with their single life, that doesn’t stop the shame.

Data from a survey shared by dating service Match with BBC Worklife shows that 52 per cent of 1,000 single adults in the UK reported experiencing the shame of being single. And although 59% said they were “satisfied with their relationship status,” they were still the target of intrusive questions about their love life.

Most single people are used to being embarrassed. The nagging questions, the assumptions that a relationship is what you want, the sad looks and the tilted heads when someone tells you solemnly that ‘you’ll soon find your soulmate. me’. This type of assessment only seems to open up more when you are referred to as the ‘third wheel’.

No matter how long our friendships have been around, when our friends start having an affair and we don’t, activities like night out will become less frequent. A funny unwritten rule of society is that couples only hang out with other couples, while singles go to clubs or go on dates so they can become part of a relationship gang. However, it makes perfect sense that single people will become best friends with their friend’s partner as well as their friend. And we would hang out with each other all the time if we didn’t have to worry about scrutiny eyes.

There is nothing sad about being single, nor hanging around with our dear friends. People who are in a relationship and those who are single still have a lot in common (after all, our relationship status doesn’t define us, no matter what others say) and indeed, they do. much to learn from each other.

That’s why it’s so refreshing to see a character like Selena Gomez go out for an intimate night out with her married friends on social media, expressing the joy of hanging out with friends without even realizing it. embarrassed and confused.