The Mirror’s agonizing aunt, Coleen Nolan, advises a woman who’s slept with her best friend whether to take the plunge and give it a try, or park it as a one-off
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I’m a 27 year old female and recently slept with one of my best friends after a night out with my close group of friends.
He’s single and so am I, but I don’t know how to play this.
I suppose if I’m honest I’ve always kind of liked him – he’s funny and handsome and we just get along – but being a couple never really crossed my mind because he’s either a girlfriend had or I had a friend.
We laughed about it the next morning but it was a bit awkward as you can imagine. The sex was really good – the best I’ve had in a long time – so I have no regrets.
But I’m aware that starting some kind of romance could ruin our friendship and also make things awkward in our group if things didn’t work out.
He invited me – just the two of us – but I don’t know if he wants to try dating or to tell me he thinks sleeping together is a big mistake.
We’ve texted quite a bit since that night and the texts have been really nice and a bit flirtatious.
Can romance work with a partner?
yes i think it can The dilemma is always, can you become friends again if a romance doesn’t work out — that’s the risk you’re taking.
If one of you turns out to have stronger feelings than the other, then I think it’s hard to go back to the same friendship you had before.
I would just bite the bullet and say to him, “What are we going to do?” It sounds a bit like you’re waiting for him to give you a decision.
One thing I would advise against is entering into a friend agreement because I believe someone always gets hurt.
So if it was all about good sex, consider it a one-time thing – don’t do it again and just be friends.
From what you said at the end of your letter, it sounds like flirtatious messages are already setting you on the road to romance.
If you find that you’re both ready, then don’t worry about what’s going to happen in six months.
Enjoy it and see how it develops.
You might marry and have three children. Or, of course, it could fizzle out.
None of us can predict how things will turn out early in a relationship.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/slept-best-mate-give-things-26731198 "Slept with my best mate - do we try or keep it as a one-off event?" -Coleen Nolan