That was the budget that was

Poor old Pearse Doherty. He did Trojan work, taking up the levee of government donations left, right and center. We liked his statement that “champagne corks will fly tonight” among developers while the government “continues to roll out the red carpet.”

Taking a break

Ministers Paschal Donohoe and Michael McGrath listened patiently as the Donegal man went through his greatest hits back catalogue, which focused mainly on housing, health and pensions, and explained how Sinn Féin would have done things differently. By now the benches behind the ministers had emptied as government TDs trotted off to feed the inner woman and inner man.

Pearse’s greatest humiliation was to come. RTÉ Television, which had been broadcasting Donohoe and McGrath’s speeches live and uninterrupted, seemed suddenly bored with Pearse’s persuasive lines. The national broadcaster cut for a commercial break. Instead, viewers were treated to a detailed account of how Dunnes Stores also did its utmost to bring prices down.

calming words

It is said that politicians campaign in poetry and then rule in prose. You can get away with verse if things don’t keep getting worse. what they are at the moment.

But the government is clearly optimistic that its €11 billion bargepole will stave off the worst effects of the war in Ukraine because Michael McGrath grabbed a piece of Seamus Heaney at the end of his speech yesterday – a Biden-like move that included is fraught with risks.

Clutching the famous Seamus to his chest, he welcomed Heaney’s expression, “Hope is not optimism that expects things to turn out well, but something rooted in the belief that it’s worth working for.”

More proof he’s after the top job.

Sartorial strategy

It will be a few weeks before scientists and economists know if the government’s €11 billion finance rocket has managed to knock the inflationary asteroid off course.

But Government TDs celebrate a direct hit, saying they shattered a boulder that threatened to wipe out all Earthlings in Ireland. The household was said to have been a success – although you might need the James Webb telescope to spot the big experiment on the payslip.

And if you’re thinking this is a poppy analysis of what was once a major and grave event – called cáinfháisnéis, or tax forecast in Irish – then think again. Because Paschal Donohoe himself, the sober Minister of Finance, was present on Instagram yesterday.

In one story, several ties were laid out, one of which was chosen by him as chamber clothes.

“I always wear a green tie because green is the color of our country and also the color of hope,” intoned Secretary Donohoe, destroying the betting market for what he might wear as a scarf.

Clothes and shoes ruined a budget. After yesterday squandering former company money, Sinn Féin complained that the government had stolen their clothes.

It’s a cliché, but at least Mairéad Farrell offered a new twist. There had been a “wardrobe malfunction,” she said, and those clothes had been put on the wrong way, with shoes on the wrong feet.

As long as we all remember to wear extra sweaters this winter…

Back to school

It’s good of the senators to get back from their summer vacation yesterday… Donohoe got up an hour before Easter. The House of Lords has had a lengthy hiatus, although the Dáil has been behind for the past two weeks. The fact that you didn’t notice the Seanad was still on break speaks to its utter irrelevance. It’s reminiscent of American commentator Dorothy Parker (right) upon learning of President Calvin Coolidge’s death… “How do you know that?”

To tell us they are back and indeed alive, a group of independent senators announced via press release that they are introducing a Private Members Business motion on cost of living issues “and the impact this is having on young people in Ireland”. would. . Fossils show they really are with the kids.

They told us, “Members of the press are welcome to attend and be seated in the gallery. Please reply to this email as soon as possible so that access can be granted.” We don’t need your permission, thanks!

Alarming news

The government finally ran into a budgetary gap late in the day. Housing Secretary Darragh O’Brien was meeting the media at the Government’s new press center as the fire alarm went off. “Your budget is so good it set the house on fire,” remarked one prankster, but the housing minister was duly evicted along with everyone else. The press conference then took place in the courtyard of Government buildings, with Malcolm Noonan, the Greens’ junior minister for heritage, noting: “We pulled you out of the conference room to show you heritage.” All funny jokes… but those Irish Independent has previously pointed out problems with the Leinster House campus fire alarm system. And the knock-on effect was that Ministers Paschal Donohoe and Michael McGrath were forced to hold their 7pm press on Merrion Street rather than the dedicated media centre. Perhaps a disappointing end to the government’s beautifully cloudless day – or perhaps a warning of what is to come.

Grub is up

Genius! Leinster House catering queen Julie Lyons captured the spirit of a day of gifts for everyone in the audience.

The Budget giveaway sparked a special Christmas dinner to mark Budget day, although we’re still a long way from Halloween.

Accompanied by holly leaves and red berries chalked on the blackboard, traditional turkey and ham led the way, accompanied by croquettes and cranberry sauce.

The dessert of the day was Christmas pudding with brandy sauce, further adding to the feel-good factor. The food was available specifically from noon, an hour before Paschal Donohoe and Michael McGrath officially donned their Santa hats to begin handing out the treats.

Mind you, tough times are coming – and there could be many who will have a lean Christmas this year. Nevertheless, nothing speaks against whistling past the cemetery a bit. Eat, drink and be merry and let tomorrow take care of itself. That was the budget that was

Fry Electronics Team

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