DEAR DEIDRE: The careless behavior of my mother-in-law is running my marriage.
She is 65 years old and widowed last year.
For more advice from Dear Deidre
No problem is too small, too big or too embarrassing. Read our personal answer here.
- Dear Deidre on Mental Health
- Dear Deidre on Identity
- Dear Deidre on Debt and Money
- Send Deidre on Work
- Dear Deidre of health and happiness
- Dear Deidre on Addiction
Now my husband finds it impossible to say no to her.
She treated him harshly with requests, and he was so stressed that he applied it to me and our young daughters.
I am 39 years old and have been married to my 40 year old husband for 15 years. I was nice to his mother before, but she was always controlling.
Now, she calls him ten times a day, every day, and asks him to come fix things or help her with the paperwork in the evenings and weekends.
We rarely see him. He also has a stressful job and can’t cope.
But instead of standing up for her, he just yelled at me.
I get – and respect – that he wants to be a good son, but I don’t think I can do more than that.
All issues receive a personal response, usually within 24 hours on weekdays.
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like she really needs it and is putting a lot of pressure on your husband – a man who is nice and clearly doesn’t want to let her down.
You need to talk to him again and suggest that you try to work out her needs together.
Setting some boundaries is essential.
First, his mother might limit calling him in the evenings unless there was a real emergency.
My Stress Pack might be helpful for him to read.
NEXT TODAY DEAR DEIDRE My friend keeps putting me down because I’m from Romford and I’m fed up
READ DEIDRE’s STORY Freya confronts Beth when she thinks Eric is having an affair
https://www.thesun.ie/dear-deidre/8245971/controlling-mother-in-law/ The difficult and controlling mother-in-law is taking up all of my husband’s free time