The Mirror’s agonizing aunt Coleen Nolan offers advice to a woman who wants to stay with her husband because of the children but hopes to explore a different kind of relationship
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I am a 40 year old woman and have been married for 15 years. We had been together since we were 20 before we got married at 25 and I had no other serious romantic relationships.
Even though we love each other and we’re good parents and make a good team, I’m not in love with him anymore, we never have sex and even the thought of it makes me cringe.
I haven’t spoken to my husband about it yet, but I’ve considered the possibility open marriageso we can keep the family together and stay close but pursue sex and romance with other people.
I would be interested in your opinion on whether an open marriage can work.
For me it would be a no for your reasons. What you’re saying is that you’re just staying in Before for the kids, but you don’t have to.
You need to tell your man how you feel (although you leave out the hurtful part about him that makes you cringe).
Some relationships come to a natural end and you’ve both been together since you were young, so you’ll both have changed a lot by that time.
I don’t think an open marriage keeps the family together – it will be an added complication, especially if it’s just you wanting this arrangement. Also, what happens when the kids leave home, will you then leave your husband?
I don’t know why you’re trying to cling to marriage unless it’s fear of the unknown. This relationship is all you know, so breaking away from it is a scary prospect and requires a lot of adjustment.
Perhaps the first step should be a trial separation rather than going out and having sex with other men.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/the-thought-sex-husband-makes-26737002 "The thought of sex with my husband makes me cringe, so I'd like to try an open marriage" - Coleen Nolan