This SUV is the best car you will ever have

I’ll start with an apology. Last week, I told you that a Kia Sportage is your all-weather family SUV.

But it seems I was wrong. What you need is a 390hp Cupra with a tank track.

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It is not only antifreeze but also the world’s ultimate proof. And lots of fun.

This thing will crawl through snow, mud, floods – many things knee deep – without breaking a sweat.

As with most things in life, all of this is a bit too good to be true for us Britons.

Is not. Tank tracks are not the problem. You can buy a set of Mattracks online. That’s the car itself.

Cupra has decided not to sell the Formentor VZ5 here. Bad opinion.

Although there is nothing stopping the gasmen from ordering a left hand drive from Europe and driving it home. For those who don’t know, the VZ5 is essentially Cupra’s Audi RS3.

The Spaniards have somehow managed to create Audi’s legendary five-cylinder engine, along with 4WD traction provided by Quattro, to create their own limited-run halo car.

That delectable combination instantly turns the Formentor into a five-seat rocket that can make a Porsche squirm on wet roads. More than that, the 1-2-4-5-3 firing order made my heart sing. It is one of the best sounding engines ever. Exciting indeed. And there’s another thing.

The VZ5 also inherits the RS3’s torque divider and drift mode, where all the power can be redirected to one rear wheel to give Ken Block full enjoyment. You don’t need me to tell you how fun it is on ice.

Apparently the closest thing to this car is an RS3. If you can afford it.

I’ve seen some sell for £80k in the last few months. The next best Cupra is the VZ3.

That’s 310hp, 4WD and £44k. It’s a Golf R under the skin but with a nicer haircut. It can get through 0-62mph in 4.9 seconds, just seven tenths slower than the VZ5.

But it’s not half as good. And you don’t get the big seats in the Cup.

To conclude, then. Cupra Formentor VZ5. The best car you will ever have.

If Cupra UK rethinks, I’ll be happy to set the record.

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