Wife’s disbelief when brother declines wedding invitation – because he’s offended by it
A stunned bride-to-be has shared a “rage” online after her brother and sister-in-law refused to attend their wedding, and she believes it’s because the invitation “offended” her
(Image: Getty Images/Science Photo Library RF)
When it comes to weddings, unless you’re eloping, you often expect your nearest and dearest to be there celebrating with you.
So it’s only natural that a bride-to-be was shocked when her older brother and sister-in-law refused to be a part of her big day.
The unnamed woman claims her brother’s refusal to attend seemed to have come out of nowhere and shared her story online to get others’ opinions on the situation.
In a post on Reddit’s Wedding Planning Forum, The woman explains that she is “pretty close” to her brother and that his wife has been very supportive throughout their engagement, even coming with her to shop for clothes.
The bride-to-be announced in advance that she would not have children at her wedding as her brother has two children.
Her sibling didn’t comment on this rule – until he received his invitation.
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The bride-to-be wrote, “I have to rant somewhere… I can’t believe this happened.
“I have an older brother and we’re pretty close. He lives three hours away and I visit him, my SIL and their children at least every two months, during the holidays, send cards and use my PTO every year to babysit the children so they can go on vacation. I’m the only person who will babysit for her for a long time. My SIL went with me to buy a wedding dress and they were both very supportive.
“I messaged them a long time ago if it would be ok if the kids weren’t invited as there might only be four kids in total and it’s planned as an adult event. They responded weeks later and I said everything went to print with no child options, again no response I offered to find a local babysitter for them.
“They received the invitation and within hours they texted to ask if the children could come. I said it’s not a kid friendly event. Then he writes that they won’t come because they don’t want to hire a babysitter.”
The brother went on to say that they didn’t want a babysitter because their four-year-old cries when he’s around strangers.
As such, the woman couldn’t believe he didn’t understand why the child would not be welcome at the wedding – where he will be surrounded by strangers.
She goes on to say that the couple regularly hires a babysitter for date nights twice a month, so she didn’t think it would be a big deal in this case.
“I’m completely shocked,” she continued. “It never occurred to me that my own brother wouldn’t take part. I expected 50% of people to decline, but not my brother.
“I told him how hurt I was. Now he says they could hire a babysitter to come down, stay a few hours and drive home, but now I’m upset.
“I’ve babysat a week at a time every year, attended concerts and attended them regularly for the past 8 years. I invite them to an event, my wedding, and they decline?!”
The woman later shared an update that they would not be attending the wedding at all as they had given her an ultimatum.
The couple said the whole family attends or none of them attend.
She adds that she believes the first messages she sent her brother about a childless marriage a long time ago must have upset and “offended” her sister-in-law.
“Now my brother is caught between an offended wife and an angry sister. He’s siding with his wife, which I think is the right thing to do,” she wrote.
Hundreds of people responded to her post, with some able to see both sides of the argument and others outraged on behalf of the bride.
One person replied: “This is heartbreaking. But unfortunately that’s the risk we take when we invite people but not their children. It’s not fair, it doesn’t make it any better, but you set a limit… and they set one too.
“Personally, I wouldn’t want to risk a 4-year-old ‘shouting around strangers’ at my wedding. But you have to weigh the pros and cons. It sounds like they offered a compromise and otherwise supported me, so you may need to accommodate them and accept what they are willing to give.”
Another said: “What’s stopping your brother from attending while his wife stays with the kids? We have a child free wedding and have several partnerships that break up, with one coming and the other staying when they don’t want to use babysitters. Your brother chose to be angry about it.”
A third wrote: “If I were you the next time they ask for a babysitter I would just say no. Honestly, weddings sometimes show you what people are willing to do (or not do) for you. It doesn’t sound like your brother tried, which is the hurtful part. Can’t your in-laws take care of the kids?”
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/womans-disbelief-brother-declines-wedding-26779606 Wife's disbelief when brother declines wedding invitation - because he's offended by it