Lately I’ve been digging through my online banking records, sure to uncover dramatic evidence of a hack or a smishing or a phishing or a skimming, only to find an identity parade of the usual, if more respectable, crooks.
y half the mortgage, groceries, gas, direct debits for cell phones, for health insurance, for Netflix subscriptions. And thanks to the near-daily obliteration of cash — a tidal wave of tiny little things like coffee mugs, candy bars, and nail polish in peppy hues that I let crust and harden before throwing away for years because I only like neutrals.
When banks do what’s called a “sentiment poll,” you might think they’re giving people a chance to get creative and say how they really feel.
They could offer a “time capsule” box, like Census 2022 did, so customers can express their despair at what it’s like to be paid once a month and watch in disgust and bewilderment as the money steadily flows like water leaking out of a leaky bucket. And of course only if we’re lucky.
Perhaps that’s why the sentiment poll released by KBC this week turned out to be oddly and ruthlessly reassuring – yes, prices go up every time you so much as sneeze, and where will it all go? And do you know that six of these extra delicious donuts now cost a whopping €15 a pack, when it was €12 not so long ago?
But damn, if we miss the little things, we might as well check out the madness and still go on vacation.
When the banks searched for “vibes,” we tried to tell them that, but they were too busy parsing our desperation into banking terms.
Watching the cost of living for a week was proving…disheartening. I was almost glad of a smashed phone screen because of the little pause to watch the relentless trickle of numbers on the app.
Food
On Monday, I do a “top-up” purchase for things like trash bags, juice, milk, and bananas. There are 12 items on the list, the most expensive being mouthwash at €5.50 for a total of €37.71. The real question in this math puzzle is how much these items cost before the cost of living crisis, but to be honest I don’t know – although I know I should.
dress
Tuesday, I’m in town for work and the shops tempt with their colorful displays of summer clothing. I bypass these and pick a black dress in a t-shirt fabric that I think might be nice for my vacation next month. It’s the last one left, and I might have put it back on the railing if a woman hadn’t fatally eyed it in my hand. Like a newborn, I pull it closer and carry it to the register.
They should hire people to stand around in the stores and randomly give people covetous looks – that would definitely boost sales. If they could find the staff.
With two sleeveless tops in cream and sage green, the bill comes to 55.97 euros. And all I know is that the black dress will fade after one wash.
public transport
I take the dart home and it costs about 30 cents less for a ride than it used to, which is a saving on living expenses – albeit a fairly modest one.
household items
The next day I’m out of the house again and this time a department store sale is tempting. So I stroll in and spot a cast-iron skillet that advertises “tough and reliable,” and think about my two skillets with the peeling Teflon. I pick it up and it’s without a doubt one of the top 10 heaviest things in the store and I’m on foot.
Still, it’s been reduced from €42 to €19, so I’m buying it. As I carry it down the street, it swings on my arm like the clapper of the huge medieval bell I once saw in Poland. At home it joins the crumbling Teflon pans, which I’m careful not to throw away.
petrol
On Thursday I bring the car to the workshop and fill it up. I happen to know this math problem because it’s so brutal. Filling up the tank used to cost €80, now it costs around €120. That hurts.
snack
When Friday comes my teenage son who has finished school for the summer suggests we have lunch delivered for both of us and I’m ashamed to say I’ll jump at the chance because even I am tired of cooking for myself. But when we decided it was €27 and wouldn’t arrive when the other two kids came home from school highly disgusted. We dismiss the idea and I have a blackcurrant cheesecake for lunch instead. It’s ugly, but no more than I earn from having to buy groceries. Again.
