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Words of man who was raped by his brother as a child as he vowed to ‘do whatever it takes for the story to be heard’

A man who was raped by his teacher’s brother for more than four years told him what it would be like to have a “happy ending” but vowed to “do whatever it takes” to kill him. His story is heard.

In a powerful victim statement, Thomas Daly, who was sexually abused and raped by his brother Graham, said he was no longer seeking justice but “seeking vindication” after the perpetrator sick was jailed for eight and a half years on Monday.

Brave Thomas Daly has released a powerful victim impact statement after his brother Graham was jailed for eight and a half years.

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Brave Thomas Daly has released a powerful victim impact statement after his brother Graham was jailed for eight and a half years.Credit: Gary Ashe – The Sun Dublin
Thomas Daly, 33 years old, said he was abused since he was 10 years old

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Thomas Daly, 33 years old, said he was abused since he was 10 years old
Thomas Daly with partner Dean Tier and Dean's paternal grandmother, Anne O'Brien

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Thomas Daly with partner Dean Tier and Dean’s paternal grandmother, Anne O’BrienCredit: Gary Ashe – The Sun Dublin

Brave Thomas’s full victim impact statement read to the Criminal Center Court is below.

THIS IS MY STORY

My name is Thomas Daly and this is my story. My first memory of being sexually abused as a child was when I was 10 years old by Graham and this continued until I was 14, when he moved out.

Out of shame and confusion, I didn’t want to confide in anyone about what had happened, until I was 28 years old.

It was only now that I realized it was not my fault, and was no longer afraid of being looked down upon. The truth must be told.

I refused to keep it a secret any longer, having lost 18 years of my life locked away. I decided my life had to move forward. When I finally got up the courage to tell my story, I chose to confide in my dad (which is extremely difficult for me to do).

Even though I told him everything, I found I couldn’t look him in the eye, instead just focusing on my shoes. Yet it was such a relief to be able to share a burden with someone, and to finally be able to voice my feelings.

Most read in The Irish Sun

My family can understand the hurt, shock and grief of my story. I spoke at length and in great detail to my parents about what had happened.

My father remained silent while my mother cried. However, both my parents assured me that they would support me 100%.

I explained to them that what had happened was not my fault, nor was it their fault. A week later, I went to the Guards with my father to make the announcement.

Once everything is clear, I feel with the support of my family, things are going my way or I think. My decision to address myself would prove to be a stumbling block between me and my parents.

NO SUPPORT

When it happened, they were only prepared to support me if I agreed to keep things to myself.

However, I have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, so why should I be silent? I’m glad everyone knows.

As a result of pursuing the complaint, my home life took a turn for the worse with my parents blaming me and eventually siding with my brother. I was forced to leave the family home as a result of this.

Time passed and I finally felt as if I was in a stable environment. This gave me enough ability and determination to start a new life for myself.

PARTNER ‘ALWAYS FOLLOWING MY EYES’

A few months have passed, now I have enough confidence to venture out and start enjoying life. Amazingly, after a very short time I met the love of my life Dean, and we’ve been together ever since. That was more than five years ago.

When I had to attend meetings with the Guard, at the Rape Crisis Center, etc., he was always by my side. He has been my rock throughout all of this. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without him.

With Graham, I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time that I don’t want to be here anymore and end it all and kill myself. It brings a lot of pain to me; self-loathing. There’s no way out it’s everywhere I go.

I’m reminded by little agitators here and there, not to mention family and friends, who I used to ignore, put me out in the street and reject me and then try to bully me. and threatened me to get me to reduce my guilt.

Sometimes I wish you had killed me rather than abusing and raping me because no matter what happens here today I am the one who should be given a life sentence for what you did to me, not friend.

CURRENT ‘LIST’

It’s just shy of three weeks. I had to hear lie after lie in this courtroom by you, my parents and so-called family. Painful, each one like a knife stabbing the heart, but nothing surprised me anymore. I used to have feelings for my parents but not anymore.

They are hurt by all this understandably but I am telling the truth. I proved it but it was easier for them to believe I was a liar than to believe their eldest son was a pedophile/rapist.

I only got through this thanks to my boyfriend at the time and without him always by my side, by my side, I know I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you so much Dean.

My parents. They guided me growing up to always do what’s right and protect myself. They claim that I can always tell them anything, and that they will be there for me without question, to love and support me. I never got in trouble with my parents growing up, or anyone else for that matter.

‘LOSE EVERYTHING’

Graham, I want you to know the consequences of your actions and how they affected me, how I lost everything, my home, my friends and family, the opportunity to study. and career.

I suffered from depression, PTSD, insomnia, feelings of isolation, loneliness, and suicidal tendencies.

I don’t sleep. Every night or second night I have nightmares.

I want to say thank you to the DPP, the prosecution attorney, and Gardai who spoke up for the first time to finally talk about what happened. I want to thank the Rape Crisis Center. . . It means the whole world to me that you are here beside me too, just to see a friendly face going through the worst time of my life means it all.

‘NO HAPPY ENDS FOR ME’

And finally Dean’s extended family. . . Thank you for accepting me, taking me in and treating me like your own person.

I am in Criminal Justice Court today, not for me, the adult you see in front of you, but for that ten-year-old boy who will forever occupy who I am. From the age of 10, I was systematically and sexually abused and raped by my brother Graham Daly until the age of 14.

Somehow, I’ve been trying to keep this a secret for 18 years, maybe out of fear of him, or maybe just the shame and shame that it might have on me, or maybe it’s just fear that I would not be trusted.

When everything is over, there is no happy ending for me. . . I still lost everything.

Without the closure, my life does not return to normal. This won’t change anything for me. I am still the person no one likes and is hated by many people for speaking my truth. I tell you this, not to sympathize, but to let you know that I am a fighter and that I will do whatever it takes to make my story heard.

Twenty-three years of my life have been stolen; it’s no longer the justice I seek, it’s the vindication.

https://www.thesun.ie/news/8299116/man-raped-by-brother-powerful-victim-impact-statement/ Words of man who was raped by his brother as a child as he vowed to ‘do whatever it takes for the story to be heard’

Fry Electronics Team

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