Your self-worth is not in your Inbox

A few years ago, author Melissa Febos wrote about reply an email. She shares how she prioritizes writing over quick email replies, but a lot of what she says can be applied to other areas. I was nervous at first, because I’m a people pleaser, but I realized that I don’t have to answer every email and honestly, I can’t. I do my best to reply to as many emails as possible. I try not to take too long to reply. I accept that I am human and that sometimes, I fall short. Extend that grace to yourself and others. Don’t let email bother you too much.

I have a great job in my field but I am miserable because my boss is a nightmare. I’m currently looking for a new job, but it’s awkward. Most opportunities are not as “good” (well-paid or long-lasting) as the one I have now, so interviewers wanted to know why I wanted to leave my “good” job. just for their good work. I think the statement “my boss is a nightmare” should sound the alarm, and some rhetorical phrases – “I have a serious difference of opinion with my boss” – mostly like no better. I don’t think lying in this situation is immoral, but I can’t think of a decent lie. How can I answer this question?

– Incognito

It’s not immoral to obscure the truth about why you’re looking for a new job. It is reality. You do not owe your personal business to potential employers. Just tell them you’re looking for a change of scenery or new challenges. If you want to say some version of the truth, you can say that it’s not a good cultural fit for your current job.

I was recently fired for something I did very early on and never did again after my superiors brought it to my attention; However, a lengthy investigation eventually called for an automatic termination. Being fired is never fun, and unfortunately this is not my first experience, so I have more personal work to do moving forward.

How best to deal with asking friends, family and, in particular, potential employers when they ask what happened? There are different answers given by different parties; During a job interview, I know it’s important to answer questions more honestly, but with friends and family, I really think it’s rude to ask and wonder if there’s a way to do this. Which is good to show the most without sacrificing my dignity. I’d love to get some advice on how to do it.

– Anonymous, Palm Springs, Calif.

I hope you are productive doing that additional personal work. I know how difficult introspection and self-responsibility can be. Meanwhile, it’s up to you how you explain your job loss to friends and family. It To be their rudeness to ask; people are curious and often feel entitled to information that is completely none of their business.

You have a bunch of options. You can just say you don’t want to talk about it. You can come up with some version of the truth within any boundaries you set for yourself. To potential employers, tell the truth while highlighting how you’ve changed, what you’ve learned, and the steps you’ve taken to not make the same mistake again. Of course, the truth will be a deal breaker for some employers but I hope the right employer will appreciate your honesty and responsibility as well as your professional achievements. other that you will bring to their organization.

Roxane Gay is the author, most recently, of “Hunger” and a contributing writer. Write to her at Your self-worth is not in your Inbox

Fry Electronics Team

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